Living the history of music players

The Gramophone

In a random discussion over lunch with some colleagues, the topic of how the music players have evolved over the years came up. Somehow, it got me excited, thinking about the gramophone my parents had when I was a kid. Then I got reminded of a huge radio transistor - an upgrade to the gramophone followed by the addition of a small black portable version. This followed by a tape cassette player which itself went through a series of upgrades related to features and size. Then came along the CD player, followed by the DVD player, before I moved on and got the “new” albeit temporary standard in mobile music players - the legendary iPod.

This quick trip down memory lane brought an instant smile, the one you always get thinking about the treasured memories of the bygone days. I could not but help myself thinking about what I and people of my generation have witnessed – a revolution in multiple dimensions spanning and not being limited to communications, entertainment, science, technology, and globalization. All of these are in themselves topics that deserve independent discussion. However, I was fixated today only on the transformation of the music players which are so omnipresent and yet taken for granted that we fail to realize what they once were.

Sony's Legendary Walkman

Looking back in history, the first form of music “boxes” were produced way back in 1811. It took a while to create the piano but the progress took a leap when Thomas Edison invented the phonograph in 1877. Jukeboxes became a hit but it was only when broadcasting provided the channel to reach masses in their homes did the transformation take a new turn. Then came along the 8-track players, the radio transistors, followed by the home stereos, cassette decks and the infamous Boomboxes that were an iconic symbol of the youth, a fashion statement even. Sony’s Walkman in 1979 was the first portable music player that truly changed the industry. Then the race switched tracks and focus moved from portability to quality leading to the development of the Compact Disc players, DVD players and the new media was made mobile with the launch of the Discman in 1989.  It was only in 1997 that MP3 players hit the market and a new era of portable players which achieved glory with the launch of the iPod in 2001. Since then, not much has changed in portability and quality, but the channels have changed form and the change has been primarily on how the media is broadcast and consumed leveraging multi-utility platforms and convergence of communication devices with larger, faster memory and processing power.

iPods - Rewriting History

So, where do I fit in this piece of the historic revolution? Well, like I mentioned earlier, we had a gramophone when I was a kid and I vividly remember the large circular cellulose based discs that were the records that brought the gramophone to life and I still remember playing Boney M.’s “Brown Girl in the Ring” time and again moving the stick and needle of the gramophone in lieu of any sophisticated controls. Now, it does not mean that I am very old but only that it took more time a few years ago for technology to reach places across the globe such as the one from where I come from. Fortunately for me, I feel lucky to have been able to witness and be a part of the transformation that has happened, a transformation that has touched and changed the very fabric of our life.
From the "live" musical performances, to music boxes, radios, cassette players, CD/DVD players to MP3 players to finally converge into phones, the industry has reached a point where it is hard to even imagine where and how it all may have started. It is hard to say where the industry will be a decade from now, especially with the rapid innovation and breakthroughs in technology with shorter than ever shelf lives. However, not much will change in the nature of the portable music players, because their individual entity would have been lost soon and channel convergence will consume the very entity I got so excited about and have fond memories of. I am sure the generation of today would not appreciate the value the new devices bring and many would even stare at us - people from the cassette player era, and would not understand why we could have at times needed a pen/pencil to play music on a cassette. 

The tape based cassette

A Boombox

However, no matter how things change, music has been and will always be the universal language binding us and bringing us together in ways we don’t even consciously think about. So, let me end this post with a song from the days when it all started to come together. 
Dear voice assistant please play "Brown Girl in the Ring". Wait... What?? The song started playing already. How? The device can read my thoughts. Well, soon enough!

Weekend escapades - Trip to the Smokies

Even though the long 4th of July weekend was fast approaching, I hadn't planned anything for it and yet I wanted to get away from home given that we had an extra day off - Friday, thus making the weekend four days long. Some plans that I would have loved had they materialized, did not, and resorting to last minute planning, I along with three of my friends – Karan, Vikas and Vivek, decided to visit the Great Smoky Mountains. I had long wanted to visit the Smokies but the plans had not worked out, given the long distance from where I stayed. 

For the uninitiated, the Great Smoky Mountains are a sub range of the Appalachian Mountains rising along the Tennessee-North Carolina border in the south-eastern United States. The name "Smoky" comes from the natural fog that often hangs over the range and presents as large smoke plumes from a distance, most commonly in the morning and after rainfall. Renowned for its diversity of plant and animal life, the beauty of its ancient mountains and the quality of its remnants of Southern Appalachian mountain culture, the Great Smoky Mountains National Park is America’s most visited national park. The Smokies are a hikers paradise and despite having the densest black bear population in the Eastern United States, (around 1500 bears live in the park), the park is visited by over 9 million visitors each year.

Given that ours was a spur of the moment plan, cabins were hard to come by. We made numerous calls and sent out tons of emails and heard back from one the next day. However, there was a catch - you had to have an all-wheels-drive to reach the cabin. We went ahead and booked an SUV and reserved the cabin - aptly named "Over the Edge" - for it was on a mountain providing breathtaking views of the Nantahala forest. The slight con to it was that the cabin was a bit off from the Smokies National Park. 

From Home to the Smoky Mountains in 12 hours

We embarked on our journey in the evening on the 30th of June and stopped for the night in Shenandoah, VA. We leisurely started off in the morning and reached the office of Carolina Mountain Vacations in Bryson City, NC late in the afternoon. The management provided us detailed printed instructions to reach the cabin but we were amazed to find that our GPS was able to take us there too, although it did make us take a wrong turn close to the cabin and on the rough terrain, making us step out of the car despite the all wheels drive to put a rock behind the wheel to help us turn the car around. It was exciting nonetheless coz it reminded me of my trips with my friends to Dhanaulti in Uttaranchal in a Maruti 800 which at times got stuck in such places. That we intentionally went to such places knowing the risk is a different thing.

We reached the cabin in the evening and decided to rest and enjoy the view if offered, especially during sunset. The cabin was fully furnished and well equipped to take care of all our basic needs - including cooking. However, we had got Indian food packed to avoid the hassle and also be able to spend more time doing “nothing” and relaxing in the evening - staring at the setting sun, the stars or in oblivion, rather than wasting it in unproductive activities as cooking. 

Cabin: Over the Edge

Sunset - from the cabin deck

 Following this, we drove through the Historic Nature Trail close to Gatlinburg,TN to the trail-head of a short trail to the Grotto Falls. We wanted to do the trail to the Rainbow Falls initially, given the rave online reviews, but the trail was much longer and tougher and we didn't want to risk coming back in the dark as the bears are known to be pretty active in that area. The 1.3 mile hike to the Grotto Falls was easy, and did not offer any exciting views as it consisted of a narrow trail along the mountain, surrounded by thick forests on both sides. The waterfall in itself wasn't that great but it was unique in the sense that it fell from above, like a veil over the head, and you could actually go behind it without getting wet. Of course we were not there to not get wet. There was another group enjoying in the water, yet shouting and were out of the water pretty soon, leaving us wondering why they would do so. We went in and realized that the water was ice-cold, freezing even, that when the temperature outside was very high (upper nineties). I went ahead and stood under the waterfall, and within a minute or two, felt like my head was numb. It felt like your brain has frozen and I was left with slight dizziness and headache. However, after spending a few minutes outside, I felt better and went straight back in. Trust me - it was the coldest fresh flowing water I've ever been in. But yes, it was very refreshing and fun. 

Under the Grotto Falls

The next morning, we all got up late (surprise!) and drove to one of the visitor centers in Cherokee to find out what all we could do there- the recommendations from people employed there always help. However, for the first time, we walked out after purchasing a map of the park and without any help on what was best there. We had some information from the internet research and relied on it to see places around and planned our day accordingly.  

We drove to the trail-head of the Clingmans Dome  where a tar road 0.5 mile long but with a steep slope led to the base of a 54 foot observation tower. From the parking lot itself we got an amazing view of the forest covered Appalachian Mountains - folding and interlocking till as far as the eyes could see. The short hike was strenuous but the uniquely built observation tower atop the mountain and the view from it were worth the climb. 

The Clingmans Dome

View from the Clingmans Dome

We tracked back to our car and drove through the narrow and scenic Roaring Fork Motor Nature Trail - which was a one way and was still packed with slow moving traffic. We stopped by in Gatlinburg on our way back and really liked the festive atmosphere the city offered. We even took the Sky Lift which was a double seating open-car aerial rope-way to the top of the Crockett Mountain. 

The Sky Lift in Gatlinburg, TN

We were lucky to be there around sunset thus we got the best of the views during daytime and at night when the city lights were on. Having spent some time in the city, we headed back to our cabin, which was a good 2 hour drive away. We reached late at night and it was a bit scary going back in as we had left the door at the entrance to the cabin area open by mistake and feared that a curious bear may have ventured in. In addition, it was dark without the lights on and we only had the a small light - thanks to an iPhone torch app. 

The next day we went to the North-West side of the park. Surprisingly, there was no direct route to go across the park and we had to go around it. In addition, there are some one way roads, which the paper map highlighted, yet our GPS did not understand and thus miscalculated the time required to reach the destination. After a long, yet scenic drive, through which we came across thousands of bikers, who I presume were there to participate in some rally on the eve of the independence day celebrations. We found some had had accidents given the sharp turns of the mountainous roads, but yeah I can only imagine the fun they would be having driving through that area on bikes - Harleys et al.

We reached Cades Cove loop in the afternoon after getting delayed having got lost on the path, thanks to the GPS and the roads that were not even on the traditional paper based map we had purchased. We had to drop the plan of hiking to Abrams Falls, and thought of driving around Cades Cove where the visitor center personnel mentioned the bears were active and could be viewed along with other wildlife. The 11 mile one-way drive took us more than 2 hours, given the slow moving bumper to bumper traffic - which stopped abruptly every now and then, every time some enthusiast thought she'd spotted some wildlife( and she had not ). To our disappointment, the only wildlife we saw was some deer - which we get to see even in the parking lot of the building I stay in New Jersey. 

Cades Cove Loop

Our time at the Smokies was over and we embarked on our 12 hour drive back home. As before, we stopped for the night, this time in Harrisonburg, VA. The next day, July the 4th, we reached back home in the afternoon and went straight for some Dosas for lunch. 

We were tired but wanted to see the famous Macy's fireworks at the Hudson River in New York. Vivek persuaded me to go to his place which provided a convenient view of the Manhattan skyline and also to the fireworks which were scheduled to go off at 9 pm up until 9:20 pm. We saw the fireworks, which started late around 9:30 pm were not as great as anticipated. I drove back home late at night - with some more memories and experiences to treasure and share, before getting back to the grind and hustle bustle given the regular home-office-home schedule.

Macy's Fireworks in New York

Macy's Fireworks in New York

Mumbai 26/11 - the nightmare ends, finally!

It has been almost 60 hours since this nightmare began and finally, it is over. Yes, the “cat-and-mouse” game has finally ended with the terrorists infecting the Taj Hotel being taken down by the Army, the National Security Guard(NSG) and the Navy Commandos, but only after a prolonged ordeal in which the “mice” caused severe damage, and in more than one way. People across the globe have been exposed to a face of terrorism not seen ever before, anywhere in the world, and I feel this event would have made people to sit up and think about the kind of situations they might find themselves trapped in. For this problem is prevalent globally and is a threat to each and everyone equally, whatever country or place one may be in. It is just an example of how terrorism is affecting countries, targeting people from all nationalities, communities or races equally. It also goes to warn us that if we fail to take active steps towards not just curbing but also eliminating terrorism completely, we can fall victims to similar events again, maybe even in worse forms.

This incident has left a deep impact not just on the people in India, but on those in countries across the globe. This episode showcased that given the state of things, people cannot feel safe anywhere, outside on the street and nor in their homes. The false sense of security we have all been accustomed to has been shaken. This event has raised several questions and has also led people to think of the possible threats one is exposed to each day, leave apart the worries of arranging 2 square meals a day, access to proper medical facilities and potable drinking water. People across the nation will have to get together and initiate change in our society, in our thought process and in the way we lead our life, every single day.Only when we are more aware and more conscious of our duties towards each other and towards the community will we be able to rebuild this lost faith.

We should take cue from this Indian version of America’s 9/11 which shook the very psyche of individuals across the globe and take prompt action against such acts and against people propagating or supporting such activities. We need to have a centralized agency capable of not just resolving such issues but one that has the power to preemptively work towards eliminating terrorism completely from the face of this planet. We need to have the Counter-Terrorism Implementation Task Force (CTITF) of the United Nations to take a higher role in mobilizing forces of all countries and working towards identifying possible threats and eliminating groups indulging in or facilitating the development of such factions. It would also need to work towards recognizing channels which fund such activities and take actions to sever and subsequently deter such connections.

The current trauma in Mumbai lasted for duration much longer than I could have imagined and has left me with a mixed bag of emotions: some frustration, anger, sadness, respect, and a lot more. I am proud of the task force in the Mumbai’s 26/11 that tirelessly worked towards neutralizing the imminent threat and glad that the media was now more sensitive towards disclosing sensitive operational information, although only after being TOLD to practice restraint. I salute the brave commandos, the fire-fighters, medical staff, the Police and the members of the support groups who risked their life in this task. Most importantly, I applaud the staff from the Taj and Oberoi hotels who worked hand in hand with the security agencies, risking their own life in trying to make the guests safe. Moreover they never lost their cool amidst the trauma and pressure and assisted the agencies and the guests’ right till the end. The contribution of those who lost their life serving others in this tragedy can never be forgotten and the heroes will remain afresh and alive in our memories and in the stories people will tell each other of their acts of bravery.

I don’t think I have ever followed anything live on the media as closely as this event and I hope I don’t get to witness anything like this ever again in my life. I can now heave a sigh of relief that the people back home are now safe, at least for now, and hope that this event will prove crucial in establishing a common platform for nations to fight against terrorism and eliminating it altogether.

A night of terror: Mumbai under attack

Mumbai has become the target of inhumane acts of mindless individuals yet again, and this time in way much bigger than what we could have ever imagined. In this brazen act of violence, terrorists have come out in the open, catching the Indian intelligence and security agencies off-guard, in a city highly prone to such threats. In fact, I feel that such large cities are not even prepared to handle such high-risk, high-tension, high-casualty situations on their own. Besides, the absence of a central agency capable of responding promptly, promptly meaning acting within minutes or an hour,max., and not hours as has been the case usually, makes the citizens more vulnerable to such incidences.

I have been able to follow this unprecedented event for more than 12 hours now, since the time the first images of the incident started flashing in on all news channels. It is very unfortunate for the people of Mumbai to be caught in this ruthless act of vandalism indiscriminate firing leading to the loss of innocent lives for no apparent reason. I feel that terrorism has never been a result of a fight between communities, boundaries or ideas, but is the consequence of a conflict “within” individuals who have lost track of their life and have been led to commit such inhumane acts. It is not yet clear what the intention of this particular act was, but I guess it never is. It is all attributed to some lame excuse, to some unreasonable demand of some group of individuals who are blinded by un-realistic stories or ideas, oblivious of facts or logic, leading them to diverge from the “normal” population and commit such acts.

Having been glued to the "live-feeds" for this incident, just like millions of others across the globe, I don’t think I can sleep tonight, or till the time I feel that the threat has been subdued allowing the people to freely come out of their homes, or in fact feel safe in their homes itself. A lot has unfolded in the past 12 hours or so: lives lost, acts of bravery committed, people going out of their way to help each other, but at the same time, I found some acts of the certain “TRP hungry” groups, insensitive and irresponsible. I cannot believe having seen someone ask an injured person to wait and pose for the camera when he has been hit by a bullet right in front of the very same camera, instead of being offered medical help first. In fact, pulling the person out of the ambulance to show his wound “Live - First” is an act condemnable by all standards.

I found watching it all very frustrating, especially when I saw some irresponsible comments being made by the media, passing information out to the public, including the terrorists who would want to keep track of the actions being taken by the security agencies in response to their "radical" acts. I do not condemn the live coverage but I do feel that we could be more responsible in doing so, for this information is sensitive and might prove helpful to the terrorists as much as it is crucial for the security agencies and the public at large.

I hope that the state of things will improve soon, the situation being handled by professionals, both on the part of the security agencies and also for the media but I believe that had the NSG been more swift and prompt, things might have been in control by now. I don’t feel that the police are even equipped with the resources to handle such situations, leave aside the know-how or training, or powers required in such extraordinary circumstances.

The loss of lives has been immense and the effects of this event, both monetary and psychological, would be felt strongly in days to come. But with the NSG moving in, along with the army and RAF, in tandem with the police and support agencies, things seem to have improved but are not under control by any means. The areas have been cordoned off and media has been moved to a “safe” distance in national interests. Thankfully.

So, although we do not have access to “live” images of humans being killed, property being burnt, ethics and values being mocked and crushed, still I feel content that the people who should be taking care of things and who are capable of acting in such extreme situations are in fact doing their part very well and hopefully we would get to hear some positive news pretty soon. I am actually content with the occasional note of assurance from the top officials, people in charge of the situation, in this fragile situation and turn of events, although it gets a bit disheartening at times for I have been feeding on the continuous flow of this media for quite some time now.

I just wish the people fighting inside the establishments, the hotels: Taj, Oberoi, and Nariman house and in all the hospitals, fire stations, and the people helping out on the streets, all the luck and hope they can bring the city back to normal. I believe that the contribution of such heroic individuals as Hemant Karkare who selflessly risk their own life to make us safe and who lost their life fighting for us is what makes the difference in this fight against terror. This is what keeps the people motivated and the human spirit alive and resilient.

I want to sleep a good night’s sleep soon, content, and assured that people -friends, acquaintances and countrymen, are all safe and that these few psychotic souls cannot succeed in overcoming our spirits or scare us through their barbaric acts. I strongly condemn this act of the "terrorists" and I want these pests out of my house, as soon as possible, whatever it takes! Exterminated, preferably.

The changing colours of fall

It’s been more than 2 months since I set foot in this part of the globe. Being in a new place I wanted to explore the place, but actually I haven’t been able to do more than half the things I wanted to before I came here, partly for the rigorous schedule I have been following and partly for my being overtly lazy!

Things have been changing at a rapid pace and the weather is catching up in the race to change too, or transform, if you will. It has started to become really chilly, especially at night and in the mornings but overall I find it very pleasing, given that I like winters more than any other season.

Lately I noticed that the change in the temperature had been accompanied by some subtle yet noticeable changes in the overall natural setup. The view outside my window close to the study table has changed significantly and the long walks on campus from the shuttle stop to the college building have become more pleasing and I wonder why.

Well, it's that time of the year when nature flaunts its colours and the trees transform from the monotonous shades of green to the fiery red and bright yellow and orange. The change here in Maryland, Washington, DC, and in Virginia usually peaks in mid to late October. The intensity of colour each year depends on the amount of rainfall, warm days and cool nights.

It appears all more the magical especially because the show offers variety each day and the colour kind of settles down on trees, flowing down with each passing day, as if someone has dropped a can of paint at the top and the paint trickles down, slowly each day, colouring the leaves on the way, bit by bit. The weather too plays its part in this whole conspiracy. The chill in the air, the bright sunshine, all draw you outdoors and kind of force you into admiring the beauty, leaving you gasping for more. Fall really is one of the most beautiful times of year!

Leaf Senescence is the annual seasonal gaining period when the leaves stop producing chlorophyll and begin storing the nutrients for use the next year. Based on the kind of tree, different chemicals are produced giving the rich hues of red, yellow and orange in the process. Whatever be the scientific reason or process behind it, I feel the whole show is a big cover-up for conveying symbolic messages to us humans to learn from and adopt and apply the learnings in our conduct in life.

I don’t want to sound preaching but I do feel that I could learn from the abundant store of wisdom that nature has to share with us. Given that the changing of colours in essence is the process by which trees prepare for the tough time ahead, the winters, when the snow covers them and the sun doesn’t show up for days. In such trying circumstances, to be left on its own, it makes sense to be prepared beforehand and store resources when none are available. It means adapting to the changing conditions, conditions over which the humble trees might not have control upon. Likewise, we humans too seldom have complete control over our lives yet we fail to adapt and in fact we choose to complain instead of proactively preparing ourselves for the future. I am not a big pessimist but I do feel it helps to be prepared for the worst and still act as if the best is to come to us.

Anyways, I do realize the folly in the statements above, for I myself hardly practice what I wrote about, but hey, I too am a human, just like you. But I do know that I need to learn a lot, and want to make my life as colourful as possible, for myself, and for those around me. In fact for those who choose to see things the way I do, and enjoy even the small things in life, such as the colours of the fall, which have just started to fall in!

Night trek to Kalavaarahalli betta

It was just another lousy week at office and with the weekend approaching I was in the mood for another trip to the outdoors. Some friend suggested we visit Kalavaarahalli Betta(also called Skandagiri) which is around 70 KM from Bangalore. We Googled and found that some people trek the mountain under moonlight. We got very excited but a bit concerned as it was a place unknown to us; we had to trek on the mountain at night and the weather lately had been dicey for the unpredictable rain. As always, the adventurer in us pushed us to go for it.
We bought some torches and packed our bags, with the essential stuff, lots of water, eatables, and some drinks. We, 6 guys on 4 bikes, assembled at KFC, Indiranagar at 11:30 PM on Saturday and had a quick bite (our dinner actually). The weather was pleasant and we started off at midnight towards the Hebbal Flyover. Suddenly, it started drizzling. It was fun driving in the rain at night, yet we did not want to reach our destination all soggy and spoil the fun. We kept our fingers crossed and kept driving in the rain which got strong intermittently.For once, the heaven’s smiled and the rain stopped. It was then that I experienced one of the most amazing rides on my bike ever. The sky was dark and cloudy over the newly renovated and well lit road to Devanhalli and we could see the half-moon peeping from behind the clouds every now and then, the cool breeze murmuring in our ears and almost freezing our hands. I went in somwhat like a trance and couldn’t stop singing in this mesmerizing ambiance.

We crossed Devanhalli and reached Chikballapur. After driving through the city for some time, we took a left turn to a road adjacent to a Ganesha Temple. After travelling for around 4-5 Km’s on the narrow road, we reached Omkara Jyoti Ashrama / Papagni Mutt, which is situated at the base of the Kalavaarahalli betta, at 2AM . We parked our bikes, paid for the entry to the area and started the ascent at 2:30 AM, our torches lit, for the moon had decided to not bless us with the cool blue light and guide us in our journey uphill.

We could see the lights of some villages close by, twinkling like stars. We found ourselves walking in eerie silence amidst the bushes overgrowing on both sides of the narrow, rocky path winding towards the top with an the occasional flashing of lights of some other groups making their way uphill, in the distance. The trees were repeatedly asserting their claim to the rocky kingdom with the whistling of the leaves in the strong breeze and yet some mortals could be heard trying to subdue the noise with their shrieks, getting defeated in the contest every time.

The trek was moderate yet tiring. We took rest numerous times, to catch our breath or to just drink and discuss some crucial things in life at some strategic location atop the rocks on the way. We reached the top at 4:30 AM. The breeze was so strong that we could hear a loud roar, our bones almost resonating with the noise, and we were finding it hard to restrain our bodies from being blown away with the force, time and again. We probed around in the dark and found the best spot of the place, yet no other group had ventured there, as it was a bit scary being almost on the edge and we too at times feared being carried down with the wind.

We wrapped ourselves in some bed-sheets and after some more exploration, found a slightly flat rocky area where the wind was relatively weak. We lay down on the rock and covered the bed-sheet over us to form a flat tent or more aptly a cocoon, which reduced the impact of the strong wind. We could hear a lot of voices in the distant darkness but could not see clearly the sources of the noise. We lay there for some time and after around half an hour, we saw some light of the day. We got up and realized that the place was crowded with more than 150 revelers, a lot of them standing around a small fire lit in the makeshift shop at the summit.

The wind grew stronger than ever and our hopes of viewing the sun rise drowned. At some places towards the edge and atop some small rocks, we felt as if we could just spread our hands and fly away from this maddening world.We spent some more time exploring the hill top, taking snaps and finally rested at one place for a long time, nobody wanting to go back, although the place was almost deserted now.

With a heavy heart, we started our decent at 7AM and reached the base of the hill in around an hour. The sun had come out and it started to grow a bit hot. We had some tender coconut and started again for Bangalore. The rain gods played some more hide and seek with us, and we reached our homes at around 10 AM, just in time to cuddle back in our beds for a perfectly lazy Sunday ahead!

Riding on the wings of a Butterfly!

It was just one of those days when I am not my usual self, inclined towards the mystic, the enigmatic, with a strong urge to reflect upon my life, specifically upon events and instances which have had a significant impact on my life and had been making me feel restless lately. I had numerous questions, the answers to which I wanted to know to subdue the turmoil I was going through, owing to some circumstances I had put myself into a long time ago, some choices I had made, and based on which I had envisioned my life hoping things would happen in line with those dreams. But then I made some minor adjustments, some seemingly insignificant choices and yet hoped that things might still work out at least, if not in the best of way. It didn’t take long for life to take a turn and certain things happened, things which I had no control over, and they in a way made me feel like a helpless spectator.

Thinking about how life would have been had I not made those choices or maybe things had gone the way I had envisioned, I plunged into the realms of higher thinking, initiating an impromptu conversation with myself, hoping to unravel the thoughts which had been on my mind for some time. Not getting satisfactory answers I wandered further and somehow got reminded of a movie I watched during my undergraduate studies, “The Butterfly effect”, which I had not quite cherished then but the movie had provided enough food for thought. The movie revolved around the protagonist who reads the journals he had written as a youngster and then tries to change small things in the past to “fix” the current present and every time he returns, he finds himself in an entirely different situation, a future unintended and unimaginable, and all because of the side effects of actions, his and those of others involved.

Every small action has the potential to initiate a series of chain reactions, which in turn lead to other reactions, similar to a Domino effect, but in this case the outcomes are amplified. It is believed that the flapping of the wings of a small butterfly in one part of the globe can lead to a tornado in another part, a phenomenon which is called the Butterfly effect. The concept basically highlights the fact that even small actions can have unimaginable results, exhibiting a high sensitivity to initial conditions.
It also in a way reaffirms the belief that our karma influences our future and in a way determines our destiny. Just as the smallest stroke we make on a canvas, the finished painting can be significantly affected by it, and just like our karma, the stroke cannot be undone, and yet we can still try to utilize the stroke to somehow assist us in enhancing the beauty of the final picture, make it favorable for our self and for others, and allow us to attain our goals and fulfill our purpose in life.

I was able to relate to the concept, to the chaos theory which weaves into our lives every moment and binds seemingly insignificant things seamlessly into our course of life. I re-reflected on the thoughts, on how things had turned out in the recent past, and how certain things which have been affecting and will further influence my future, and the path I should follow to re-align my goals and actions in line with what now appears to be my purpose in life.

I feel that we live our life in a microcosmic container, filled with energy sources, of different shapes and sizes, with random trajectories and behaviors, yet each source, however small it may be, can alter the course of another source. Such microcosmic systems are part of a bigger container, which we call the universe and the sources from each system, have the power to significantly affect things of the bigger order.
We humans, the diminutive energy sources inhabiting the earth which itself forms part of a massive universe the most parts of which are oblivious to us, form a symbiotic system where our actions affect and are affected by people closely intertwined in our lives, and at times even by those we have never or will never come across.

Right from the minute we are born, we do things which affect our life and also that of those around us. We grow up; learn things from others or out of our own experience, making choices every second. We breathe for we choose to live; we live for we have a purpose in life, a role to play, before the system recycles our energy source by destroying it and recreating it in some other form, maintaining the balance in the system. What we do in our life span, how significantly we can affect the behavior of a bigger system and what mark we are able to leave behind, is all up to us, as individuals and as a community.


In short we drive our destiny which in turn dynamically changes form, with every thought and action of ours. It takes courage and persistent effort to venture into the unknown, to face resistance and travel a path we want to follow and leave a trail, otherwise we can just choose to be a part of the system, covering our journey with little or no impact on anything, except for the minute disturbance created by our momentary existence in the system, our life being dictated randomly by events and actions of the particles around us.

Coming back to the initial thought, I could visualize certain events in life which have had a significant impact on my life, and will continue to affect my life, till the end of my journey, for what has been already done, cannot be undone and the disturbance in the energy field will slowly dissipate in time and space, yet the effect will remain. I felt that I have been committing a lot of mistakes, or maybe have been taking decisions, which looking back now appear mistakes, things which I could have done or not done, and life might have been better now or in the future, which seems more distant and turbid than before. Or probably, as humans naturally are, I was focusing more on things that went bad, and not things that happened for good.

Small thoughts such as, what if I had not taken up the synthesizer classes and had learnt playing the guitar instead, or had gathered courage to talk to the girl I fancied once, to relatively big concerns such as had I chosen a different college or domain of study, had I decided to switch a job earlier, or taken up some opportunity that I didn't explore fearing risk, etc., plagued my mind, and then there were events which I feel I had no control over, and yet these events had had affected my journey to a large extent.

There are enormous possibilities attached to each action I could think of, for example, what if I had studied more for the exam and not gone out for a party with friends, what if I had changed the school when I decided not to, all these are small instances, which could have possibly altered the course of my life, could have put me in a different situation, could have brought me closer to certain individuals and kept me far from certain others.

I wish I could change some of it, but alas, it is a mere wish, a mere whim of a mortal. Besides, I cannot change anything in the past if I wanted to, even by travelling back in time, as the disturbance in the time space continuum will lead to a paradox for if I could change things in the past, the future, which is now the present will not have been the same, and hence I would not have been able to travel back in time in the first place!

Every now and then, I feel that the course of my life is now stable and I can safely visualize it, at least a few years down the line, and yet, the next instance, things change, seemingly in line with Murphy’s law most of the time, proving yet again that we are a part of a system, whose inherent characteristic is perpetual turmoil. But I believe that if we are able to resist sufficiently and persist, we can possibly have the impact we desire. With this belief I wandered deeper into the realms of chaos, thinking about the What If(s), the But(s) and the What Next(s), taking cues from my journey so far, but I could not reach a conclusion. I could just think of some options, the possible outcome of certain choices that I could make, and yet, the future lay just as obscure as it was before. For, whatever I may visualize, a butterfly flapping its wings somewhere could change it the very next moment.

I decided to stay open to what I may come across in the near future, yet be prepared to face resistance, to be flexible to adapt to the changes which are the consequence of the disturbance created by myself and also by others, and try to continue my journey, the way I see it. I can hear the wings flapping in the distance, and I wonder how and when it would impact my life again, what further chaos I would find myself in, and the thought of it all generates fear. Yet some hope remains, and I just wish that I have more strength to withstand the turmoil, that I am able to continue my quest for happiness, for knowledge, and for life, the way I want it to be. The silence needs to be broken; the effect of the flapping of the wings of the butterfly needs to be subdued. I have to make my presence felt across the system and have to leave a positive mark on it.

Suddenly, the conversation ends abruptly. Silence prevails, yet the turmoil persists. I fall asleep, as always, falling prey to the wicked devices of nature and dream on in the mystic world to wake up again in the chaotic world, hoping to conquer the random, the unknown and also the known, some day.